And then the world spins again

I don't want to go back to school. I don't want to have athletic-classes. I don't want to wake up early in the morning. I don't want to feel that I've done nothing important. I haven't got a job. I haven't got the best grades. I don't have a boyfriend. I'm not famous. i'm not really rich. I'm unsure if my best friend really likes me. I always see people who look better, who've succeeded. Which I haven't.

Today, my life sucks.

2011-11-27 @ 22:51:41
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What am I doing?

This time of life is supposed to be the happiest. But I've never felt as down as I do now. I, as so many others, dream about a life in USA. In the high school, just like the ones we see in TV-series. But why can't I be happy with what I have? I have a pretty good class, a fresh school and if I put down some time I would probably get a work. But i just see the facts that Sweden is a boring country and I have no idea about who I really am. The only thing I'm sure about is that I love Coldplay. And that's it. I want to change my life, but I don't know how to. And right now I feel like I'm wasting the most important years of my life on nothing.
2011-11-20 @ 12:28:57
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Underestimated

I'm really sad right now. I shouldn't because everything is working properly and soon we have holiday in school. But I've just found out that I might not get the grade I want in one subjet. One subject, it shouldn't be a big deal. And might, nothing is sure yet. But for me it's quite a big deal. All my thougths are focused on it, and I'm not sure I can have a good time if I don't deal with it. So I'm going to talk to my teacher again tomorrow and hopefully he can say something that makes me feel better.

Until then I'm listening to Coldplay, who always makes me feel better.


When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy

2011-10-27 @ 19:27:39
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And the truth is, I miss you

I don't want to forgive you, I want you to go out of my life. I don't answer your mails as happy as I used to, I just write back because I'm polite. I don't text-mess you anymore, I don't call you. I'm not sure wheather it's bandy or anything else you're playing. I don't know what your gifts on your birthday were, or if you're seeing other friends even though you told me you were busy doing homeworks.

It's all self-defense. You've hurt me more than anyone else, because you were one of my best friends. At that moment, you promised me to never do this again. And don't worry, I won't let you. I won't let you come into my heart, just so you can break it again.

But the truth is, I miss you. So much, that I'll never repair.
2011-10-16 @ 20:08:49
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Hate homeworks!!!

Goooosh, I hate this so fucking much!!!!  I really wished I had a life that didn't consist of homeworks 24/7..... Gooood, I have so much pressure now, I will collapse at any moment now. But at the same time I know I won't, becasue I've thought like this before and survived. I just push myself harder in belive that it'll go better then. I just push and push and push, then I have a small breakdown for myself, but keep trying, and never collapsing. WHY IS LIFE SO MEAN?
2011-10-03 @ 19:06:45
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