Changes
It's difficult to imagine, how easily things develope during time. How one thing can go from certain one day to dizzy the next. How friends we used to know, don't longer react in the same way. How knowledges we take for granted, can turn out to be great lies. Is it possible for us to control all these changes, or should we just go with the flow? Can we handle them, or do we need solid stones to stand on?
Last year I belived, that the majority of the changes was bad. I hated my new life, and at the same time longed for my old. The old life in which I had the best grades. In which I had won the competition I thought I never could. In which I had friends I loved. Half of my old classmates were wonderful. I was happy with life. Satisfied. I could have died there, and rested in piece. But my ambition, who'd created it all for me, were gone. The ambition who defined me.
So when I lowered my grades, seperated from my friends, some which I realize now never cared, I felt lost. I hated my new class, my new school, everything. My life fell apart inside me, even though I continued smiling so no one would notice. I kept telling people how my determind mind was my biggest strength, but in my interior I felt that was a quality long lost.
Today, I try. I try to get that ambition back, but I also try to find other things that define me. That I can depend upon, if I fall again. And I feel it. Every day, I feel a little bit more confident. A little bit more like me. A little bit more like the one I was, but still, a little bit more like the one I've become.
Last year I belived, that the majority of the changes was bad. I hated my new life, and at the same time longed for my old. The old life in which I had the best grades. In which I had won the competition I thought I never could. In which I had friends I loved. Half of my old classmates were wonderful. I was happy with life. Satisfied. I could have died there, and rested in piece. But my ambition, who'd created it all for me, were gone. The ambition who defined me.
So when I lowered my grades, seperated from my friends, some which I realize now never cared, I felt lost. I hated my new class, my new school, everything. My life fell apart inside me, even though I continued smiling so no one would notice. I kept telling people how my determind mind was my biggest strength, but in my interior I felt that was a quality long lost.
Today, I try. I try to get that ambition back, but I also try to find other things that define me. That I can depend upon, if I fall again. And I feel it. Every day, I feel a little bit more confident. A little bit more like me. A little bit more like the one I was, but still, a little bit more like the one I've become.